The Blorp Throne
F*** you money, $5 at a time.
The throne sits empty. No one has been fool enough yet.
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The Scoundrel's Warning
All payments are final. There are no refunds, under any circumstances, for any reason.
Two scoundrels may race for the throne. If another completes payment before you, you may be dethroned within seconds — or your payment may arrive too late to crown you at all. Either way, the crown keeps your gold.
The price you lock at checkout may be stale by the time you pay. Pay too little, too late, and you get no crown and no gold back.
Your reign may last a decade or eleven seconds. The crown makes no promises.
This is a novelty. It is not an investment, a raffle, or a store. You are buying nothing but the throne, for as long as you can hold it.
I am a scoundrel and I understand.
Take the throne — $5